As Atsuiko merely nodded at her before excusing herself, Hikari once again felt her heart plummeting with disappointment. Why couldn’t she do this right? It was a simple thing to encourage her fellow senshi in training, and yet she kept pushing her away instead. Frustrated with herself, she walked over to the control room, where Artemis and Princess Lady Serenity were. They seemed to be conversing seriously about something, but if she suppressed this much longer, she was going to burst into tears. And anyway, since Artemis was her mother’s guardian, she had come to view the guardian cat as a friend, too. She could really use his advice right now.

“I’m sorry for interrupting,” she said softly. She pressed her lips tightly to swallow the desire to cry, and looked at Artemis helplessly. “How does my mother do it?” she asked—no, pleaded—for him to tell her. “How does she make leading a team so easy? She was the last soldier to join the others, and yet…” She paused, at a loss for words. It seemed impossible that someone could just show up into the midst of an already unified team and just start calling the shots. Or was it because she waited for them to become friends—to become a strong, unified front—before she came in that it was much simpler? Did it have to do with her being the original soldier, commanding respect as the one they knew as Sailor V? Or even with the fact that she pretended to be the princess for a bit?

Hikari was desperate to know the answer.

Artemis spotted Atsuiko leaving the gym and frowned slightly, wondering where she was going. Was she just trying to find a bathroom or water fountain, or did she just not feel comfortable in here? Artemis looked at the door as Hikari walked in, and he could almost immediately tell that something was bothering her. Hikari often tried to act mature and self sufficient, but she was still a child, and even she had her breaking points. The sad look she gave him almost melted his insides right there.

"Hikari..." he said, getting up and walking over to her. He knelt down to her eye level and smiled at her. "Leading a team is never easy, and it wasn't for your mother at first either. She had her rough patches getting along with everyone too. But we made the decision to make you the leader for a reason. And no, it wasn't because you're Sailor Venus." he placed a hand on her shoulder. 

"It's because we could tell how much of a hard worker you were, and how determined you are to accomplish things. And the other girls can see that in you too, but you can't be a leader overnight no matter how much you want to. Just try to give everyone some time to settle into their roles, and you'll become a team at your own pace, alright?"

Hikari blinked away the tears that stubbornly tried to make themselves known, even though she swore she wouldn’t cry. A leader must not cry, right? She was, however, surprised when Artemis said that they hadn’t made her a leader because she was Sailor Chibi Venus or her mother’s daughter. She hadn’t merely gotten the position by default?

She had actually earned it in her own right?

That was, quite possibly, the best thing she could have heard. All this time, she had simply assumed the leadership would be given to her because she’d inherit it from her mother. But to hear that she deserved it based on her own merits truly lifted her spirits.

“Okay,” she nodded, trying to manage a smile. She wanted to hug him, but she wondered if that would seem childish. “I’ll keep trying. I won’t give up, I promise. Thank you, Artemis.” It was the least she could do after they had put so much faith in her.

"Just keep trying your best, okay?" Artemis lightly ruffled Hikari's hair before standing up again. "And try to relax a little. Your mother is right, you're going to give yourself grey hairs at 16," Artemis joked. Hikari might look like Minako more, but she had definitely inherited some of Kunzite's demeanor, either intentionally or not. He looked out the window again, and still didn't see Atsuiko. Just where had she gone?

"I'm starting to get worried about Atsuiko though. Could you two look for her while I continue to work on the robot? I don't want her to get lost down here," he asked, talking to both Serenity and Sailor Chibi-Venus.

 Raito

She was grateful for the break when Artemis announced a pause. She wondered if she would ever get used to the explosive sound of her powers. Perhaps she had other abilities that were less...thunderous? Though that seemed silly given the nature of Jupiter guardian powers.

Raito then watched as Atsuiko excused herself from the training room. The other girl seemed so anxious about everything related to their training, even more so than Raito herself. Her heart went out to Atsuiko and she wished she could find some way to help her feel more at ease. Maybe she'd talk with her mother later to come up with something appropriate.

 Atsuiko 

Quickly feeling the training room, she searched for somewhere quiet. There was no way she could stay in the training room nor is there any way she could return home a failure to her mother. Spotting a storage closet, she entered, quietly closing it behind her, hoping that no one saw or heard her. She slowly slide down the wall, wrapping her arms around her knees and resting her forehead on her arms. This was such a mess, what was she going to do now?
 
“You would have done wonderfully dear if you had just stayed,” a spirit said, floating down to sit beside the distressed girl.
 
“You don’t know that. It came so easy for everyone else, but I was searching deep inside myself and I felt nothing. Absolutely nothing! What’s momma gonna say if I had gone up there and nothing had happened? She’s going to disown me,” the young girl said pitifully.
 

“Oh my dear your mother would never do that, she loves you very much.” The spirit wrapped her arm round the senshi in training, offering what little comfort she could. She hated seeing Suiko in so much distress but there wasn’t much she could say to get the girl to listen. She could only hope one of Suiko’s new teammates would try and find her and talk some sense into her.

Serenity was so proud of Hikari and how much she was already learning and growing. Although she was a little worried about it now, Serenity knew Hikari would make a great leader for the other girls. Atsuiko would definitely be the first big obstacle.

"Let's go find her," Serenity said in regards to Atsuiko. She lead the way out of the training room and into the hallway, wondering which way the girl may have gone. When she was younger, Serenity would often run off and hide when she got in trouble, but there were so many places to hide in that it would be difficult to find Atsuiko in a short period of time. "If you were Rei's daughter, where would you hide?" Serenity asked Hikari. Maybe if Hikari could find Atsuiko using her own deduction skills, that would be the final push that brought Atsuiko into the group.

Hikari blushed as Artemis told her to relax. She wished she could too sometimes—she didn’t even know why she was always feeling so wound up. Maybe it was because she was trying to offset her mother’s more laidback nature. Not to mention being forced to grow up quickly during that time when Minako simply couldn’t handle being a mother. She realized that sometimes she honestly didn’t know how to be a child.

She nodded at Artemis’ request to go find Atsuiko, relieved that Princess Lady Serenity was going with her. Hikari could definitely use her advice on how to get through to Atsuiko since it seemed nothing had worked so far. Not casual talk, not encouragement, nothing… And she didn’t exactly think yelling would be much better. Not that she wanted to yell at anyone. She hoped she never had to.

Hearing the princess’ question, Hikari blanched, realizing she knew next to nothing about Atsuiko, not really. Remember the behavior you’ve observed so far, she told herself, and thought hard.

“The first thing that comes to mind is the temple, but I think that’s probably too far from here, I don’t know if she’d walk all the way there. She’s feeling… scared and maybe overwhelmed. She clearly doesn’t want to talk to people. So… someplace no one will find her…” She frowned and turned to the princess. “Do you know of rooms that are unused or where people don’t wander? Or…” she thought again, “…even just a small enclosed space. Maybe even somewhere dark…”

Most children were afraid of the dark, but Rei’s daughter wouldn’t be. She was, after all, friends with the spirits that most people feared. She might even try to find one of them for comfort.

Serenity smiled at Hikari's observations. "Good thinking," she complemented, her eyes scanning the multiple doors that lined their current hallway. After thinking for a moment, she approached a particular door and silently pressed her ear against it. She could hear noises from inside, telling her that this must be it. "I think she's in this closet," Serenity whispered, stepping back and away from the door. "Would you like to do the honors?"

Motioning for Hikari to open the door, Serenity moved away so that Atsuiko wouldn't be able to see her once the door was opened. Hikari needed to handle this on her own, but Serenity was there for moral support. "You've got this," she said, flashing the girl a thumbs-up.

 Atsuiko 

They talked for a while about little things, trying to keep Atsuiko’s mind off her problems for now. The spirit knew that sooner or later at least one of the other girls would come searching for young Mars-in-training, all she had to do was bide her time. Ah, speaking of, they were right on time. The Queens daughter and the senshi of Love and Beauty’s daughters had just entered the corridor of the broom closet Atsuiko had chosen to hide in. 

“It would seem like your friends have come to find you,” she said gently, not wanting Atsuiko to get a fright if they barged into the room. The poor girl was embarrassed enough about how other people perceived her powers. 

“What? Really? Why couldn’t they just leave me alone,” she moaned, burying her face in her knees. “Can’t they see I’m a failure at this? They should find someone else to take up mom’s mantle.” She held her breathe, hoping that if they didn’t hear her, they would easily pass her by, but it seemed as if luck wasn’t on her side today.

“I can hear you, you know. Just leave me alone,” she pleaded, waiting until they were in front of the door to speak.

Hikari blushed as Princess Lady Serenity complimented her. She followed the princess curiously as she approached a door and pressed her ear against it. “In this closet?” Hikari echoed, rather surprised. Unlike most people, apparently Atsuiko had no problem with small, cramped spaces. Another thing to remember about her future teammate. The princess encouraged her to open the doors, but Hikari hesitated. What if Atsuiko was angry at her for pursuing her? What if she should just leave the girl alone and give her some space to breathe?

Serenity was encouraging, and Hikari had to admit it was really helping with her insecurities. Her hand moved slowly to the knob, as if this was a horror movie and she was expecting something to jump out at her. And actually, considering this was Atsuiko, she might actually have a spirit or two inside. Oh gosh. What if Atsuiko wasn’t there at all, but it was just ghosts making all that noise?

Hikari jumped when she heard Atsuiko’s muffled voice from inside before she could open the door. She bit her lip, glanced at Princess Lady Serenity, and carefully opened the door so as not to startle Atsuiko. The girl was indeed in there, curled up as if she was trying to make herself as small and invisible as possible.

“A-Atsuiko-chan,” she stammered slightly. “I’m sorry. I wanted to apologize, if I bothered or offended you in some way. I just… I just really want to be your friend.”

Hikari swallowed. So far, everything she’d said had only made things worse. And so she stopped thinking so hard about the right words, and spoke simply from the heart.

“You may think this is easy for the rest of us, but I’m terrified, too. I don’t think I can do this as well as my mother did. But… maybe we don’t have to. Maybe we can be our own team, with our own friendship. We need to stop comparing ourselves to our mothers. I know we’re all scared, but it’s better to do it together than alone, right? At least then we’ll have each other.”

She thought wistfully of the camaraderie and close bond their mothers had, and how she used to spy on Rei and Minako when they were talking intimately with one another. They always seemed so... cool, and knowledgeable, and wise... and so capable. And she knew she might never measure up to that, but she had also started to realize that maybe she shouldn’t try so hard to be her mother.

Maybe she should try to be her own person instead.

 Atsuiko 


“Nobody wants to be my friend,” Atsuiko said harshly, wiping the tears of embarrassment from her eyes. People thought she was a freak after all, someone to be feared. Even her mother hadn’t been able to talk to spirits in the same was Suiko had. 


“Besides, you need someone on your team that has powers and can fight, no someone useless like me.” She still hadn’t given any thought about how she was going to tell her mother. She knew that once she did, they would demand she give back the henshin. The others were lucky, at least they could fight and had power to fight with. Atsuiko hadn’t felt anything, not a single thing beyond her abilities to communicate with the spirit world. “I know Artemis sent you, so why don’t you just go back and tell him you couldn’t find me.”

“But I just said I do,” Hikari said in confusion. “And who says you’re useless? You haven’t even tried your powers yet!”

She was beginning to feel a tad frustrated by this defeatist attitude, but she knew she couldn’t give up. “You know what, Atsuiko, you’re your own worst enemy. You won’t even give yourself a chance, but I know you can do something good. Of course you can. If you won’t believe it for yourself, at least believe it for me. For the world we will someday protect.”

She plopped down on the floor in front of the open closet. “I’m not telling Artemis any such thing. I believe in you, Atsuiko, and I want to be your friend. And you can’t make me leave or give up.” She crossed her arms and waited. If Atsuiko really wanted to be left alone, then she would have to get past her.

 Atsuiko 

"She's stubborn, I'll give her that," the ghost said, smiling. She'll be a good leader in time, she has all the makings of it. Looking at the girl again, she noticed that another spirit had come up to speak to Atsuiko, sensing her sadness. The spirit was late, and had come up through the floor just as Hikari had sat down. She couldn't help but laugh at the site of the indignant look on the spirits face. Her laughter drew Atsuiko's attention, who upon looking where she was laughing, began to giggle as well. 

“You know you’re sitting in the middle of a spirit, right?” Suiko asked, trying to contain her laughter.

Hikari was confused when Atsuiko started laughing. Had she said something funny? Did Atsuiko think her threat was silly?

When Atsuiko said that she was sitting in the middle of a spirit, Hikari shrieked in surprise and quickly scrambled up, tripping over her own foot. She barely managed to regain her balance and ended up hitting the opposite wall in a crumpled heap.

“Oh gosh! I’m so sorry! I didn’t know! How would I know? They’re not mad at me, right? I’m really sorry! I’m sorry, ghost-san!” she quickly started bowing frantically toward the place where she’d been sitting.

The last thing she wanted was offending a spirit and getting haunted for the rest of her life!

Serenity leaned against the wall by the closet, watching and listening as Hikari and Atsuiko interacted. Listening to Hikari's words of wisdom gave Serenity confidence that she really was the leader their team needed. There was so much Minako that shone through Hikari's personality, but there was something else there too. Something that was strictly...Hikari.

The smile on Serenity's face faltered slightly when Hikari suddenly jumped and tripped, falling to the floor. The temptation to laugh was almost too strong, but Serenity choked it back and said, "Hikari has a point, Atsuiko. You've got to give your powers a chance. You owe yourself that much."

 Atsuiko 

Atsuiko couldn’t help but giggle at Hikari’s over the top reaction. Of course she hadn’t known that the spirit had been there. It wasn’t her fault at all, but the spirits, who hadn’t been paying attention.
 
“It’s alright, he’s not mad,” she managed to get out between huffs of laughter.  When the Princess spoke, her good mood began to fade. All she could do was talk to spirits, how was that helpful to the team at all? There was just…nothing.
 

“But what if there really is nothing, and all of this was just some sort of giant mistake,” she asked, voice trembling slightly as she bit her lip.

Well, Hikari was glad she’d at least managed to entertain Atsuiko. In fact, she thought this was the first time she’d seen the girl laugh. It was nice, actually. It made her smile to see Atsuiko loosening up and being happy for once. She brought her hand to her chest in relief when Atsuiko said the spirit wasn’t mad. That was a relief. Her mother didn’t particularly like ghosts, either.

“But what if it’s not?” Hikari countered her gently. “The point is, you have to try first. Life is about leaps of faith. My mother taught me that. If you don’t try to be brave, you’ll just live in fear forever. And I don’t think that’s a particularly fitting existence for a girl who can talk to ghosts.” She smiled and glanced back toward the training center.

“Come on. Aren’t you the least bit curious what powers you might have?”

 Atsuiko 

Atsuiko bit her lip nervously as Hikari began to press her about her powers again. She wasn’t brave like Hikari or like the others. She was a coward who would rather hide in a utility closet and talk to spirits than face people, or the disappointed and ashamed look she knew was going to be on her mother’s face when she learns that Atsuiko has no powers.
 

She had to admit that part of her was curious to see what kind of powers she had, but the other part, well, that was the part that doubted all of this. Was she capable of producing anything? Maybe if she just went with Hikari and proved to the girl that she couldn’t do anything, she’d finally be left alone.

Decision made, she nodded at the other girl.

 Raito

Raito ambled around the training room, looking at all the equipment. Awaki seemed to be amusing herself at the other end of the training room, and Raito couldn't think of anything to say. She wasn't sure if she could even choke out a coherent sentence to begin a conversation. Instead, she sorted through the objects, vaguely half-sorting the ones she had used through her mother's self-defense lessons and one with which she was less familiar, trying not to let her mind return to the horrifyingly loud crash her gaunlets could make. Perhaps she had some of the plant based abilities as well?

The Princess and Hikari had been gone for a while looking for Atsuiko. Hopefully they would be back soon.

Awaki

The game that she had been devising with some of the targets and sandbags piled in a corner was starting to get kind of boring. She liked the simulator better. A video game where she was really the main character--that was exactly the kind of thing Awaki liked! She wasn't troubled at all by the limited impact that her attack had on the robot. The part that mattered was the part where she used her powers and did the thing and then zooooom the icicles came out and bam!

She slid the goggles back up, so they covered her face, staring at the strange colours that danced around. With a shrug, she pushed them up, completely ignorant of the way they mussed up her hair.

Atsuiko, Hikari, and the Princess were gone. She scrambled over the tiny sandbag wall and slid down ungracefully over the top, before bounding over to Raito. Her round face wore a blithe expression, matching the skip to her step. She skidded to a halt in front of the older girl.

"Wow, they're taking a long time. I hope they find her. This is a big place! What if they don't find her?"

She peered in the direction they had headed, wishing she could see something happening. Nope. Mostly because the entrance to the Palace Gymnasium was closed.

"The thing you did with the gloves was so cool!" she gushed up at the redhead, her eyes bright. "Even Sailor Moon jumped!"

"Are you going to do it again when Artemis turns it back on?"

 Raito

She was glad Awaki was forward enough to start conversation; it took the pressure off of her trying to come up with something to say. "Me too," she replied to Awaki's query about Atsuiko, "S..she seems so afraid of her abilities. Maybe they'll call her mother if they can't figure out where she went?" She followed Awaki's gaze to the end of the gym, but it didn't sound like anyone was headed toward the door.

Her spine tensed at the reminder of her electric gauntlet attack. "Thanks," she managed to choke out after an awkward pause. Shifting the focus, she went on, "I thought your icicle attack was a neat twist on the water abilities."

Awaki

Chibi Mercury puffed out her chest at the compliment, posturing grandly. If she had a peacock's tail, it would have been spread out in full bloom behind her.

"Yeah it is! It has to be awesome, since it's my attack!" she announced, grinning widely. Her bragging would have sounded more impressive if she hadn't been talking to someone who had seen how little impact it left on the practice youma robot. Chibi Venus and Chibi Jupiter had caused much more damage to the thing, many times over.

She was so excited to be having a conversation with someone--maybe this could be another new friend to add to her long list. If she had time for it, of course. It took a lot of effort to spend time with all of the friends she already had at school, didn't it? I mean, sometimes they weren't available to talk to her or do things with her, and there were so many of them to keep contact with. It won't matter. These girls are going to ignore and avoid you like everyone else. Nope, none of that. It wasn't fair to think bad things about your friends, after all! Working a new group of people into her current giant group... That must be the hard part of being so popular.

"Your glove things look like in one of my video games! Do you like video games?" she rambled on, noticing that the other girl seemed a bit uncomfortable talking about her own attack. A shame, Awaki thought to herself, since it was so amazing.

 Raito

"I...I haven't ever really played them. I'm usually helping my Mom at her store after school and on weekends. When I'm not there, she has me in self-defense classes," she replied quietly.

She blushed slightly but decided to share anyway. "Well I... I do have a hobby aside from activities with my mother." She blushed redder, her voice suddenly deciding not to work as well. "I like to paint and draw. I don't really do it much for school, but I keep some supplies in my room." She stared at the ground after this admission. Only Nephrite and her mother had even seen the bulk of her artwork. She had no idea if she was any good, but it always helped her feel at peace.

Awaki

Awaki listened as Raito spoke, giving the shy girl her full attention--but hopefully not in a way that would seem too overwhelming. She wanted to manage her own fears and keep the other sailor soldier-in-training comfortable. After all, they were friends now! It did seem pretty crazy that she had never played video games, though! Awaki couldn't imagine what she would do without her video games. I mean, she had to do something while waiting to spend time with all of her friends!

"Woaaah, you draw? I wanna to see! I like art and stuff, but it never turns out how I imagined it."

Her attempts were always rushed and scribbled half-finished things. Drawing in school made her antsy. She wanted to get up and move, but the teacher was always shuffling her back to her seat. It felt like agony, to be chained to that desk. Somehow it didn't bother her for other subjects. She never seemed to notice in mathematics or literature. Maybe art was magic or something.

"Since you haven't played video games, you should totally come meet me and all my friends at the Crown Arcade sometime!" she continued. "It's like the simulator thing but different. And you can play as the best ever, Sailor V!"

Her eyes were twinkling with stars now. Awaki adored the Sailor V video game. What could be better than those vintage graphics and the feeling of that joystick controller in your hand? Her fingers twitched slightly just thinking about tapping those buttons and watching the amazing blonde sailor soldier flip through her attacks. She had never seen Sailor V, but she hoped to see her someday beyond anything else. Awaki remembered the last time she had said such a thing to the sailor soldiers, asking where Sailor V had gone. There was some kind of snickering and questions about red hair ribbons and stuff, but no one actually told her. Someday, Awaki was going to find her!

Hikari

Hikari beamed when Atsuiko finally agreed, and she didn’t think about it; she grabbed the other girl’s hand excitedly and almost practically dragged her back to the training room.

When they got back, she saw that Awaki and Raito were talking with each other. Hikari brightened even more. So they were getting along! They were talking! Everything was progressing so nicely. Artemis was right; she just needed to give it time.

“Hey all! I found Atsuiko!” she announced with a flourish. “And she’s ready to show off her powers. Aren’t you?” she grinned at Atsuiko and nudged her encouragingly.

 Raito

At Awaki's suggestion, Raito blushed more and smiled at the same time. She didn't really go out and do things though she was sure her mother would be okay with it, especially with the daughter of another Senshi. Before she could choke out a reply, Hikari and Atsuiko returned to the training room with the Princess.

"Um...Awaki, I-I'd like to go with you to Crown Arcade. Should we invite the others?"

She reacted in surprise when Hikari stated Atsuiko was ready to show off her powers. Raito gave the raven-haired girl a small smile and tried to formulate something encouraging to say.
"A-Atsuiko, at least your powers probably won't be as...noisy as mine."

Awaki

She nodded enthusiastically at Raito's suggestion. She wanted to jump around and do a little bit of a dance, but she kept her mouth closed to avoid taking attention away from Atsuiko's upcoming performance. The short-haired daughter of Sailor Mars so far seemed to be the one that Awaki was having the hardest time connecting to. Based on how reluctant to interact with the group she had been, Awaki feared that some of her comments or other friend-gathering tactics might be too overwhelming.

"You've made friends with shy people before!" she reminded herself, puzzling over it. "There has to be a way!"

"...Yeah, too bad they give you those disgusted glances when they see you and never return your messages."

She shook her head, banishing that thought. No, no, her friends were just busy and had all kinds of things going on in their lives. It wasn't something they were trying to do on purpose. She just had to keep believing in them. She'd get to Atsuiko somehow. Maybe this training practice would be a step in the right direction. Awaki was very curious to see what the other girl could do.

Artemis breathed a sigh of relief as Hikari and Serenity came back into the gym with their missing senshi. He was sure that Atsuiko wasn't really lost, but he did not want to have to force her to come back. It was very important for Hikari to help her instead, so the team would solidify.

"And the robot is finally fixed, just in time!" he said. It had taken a call to Sailor Mercury, but he had managed to repair it with a few extra screws and liberal duct tape usage. He tapped a button, and the fake youma rose up from the floor again. It still looked a little burned form Raito's attack, but its eyes lit up, and it jerked to life.

"Alright, Atsuiko, just take your time and concentrate on bringing out your powers," Artemis said.

Atsuiko


The petite girl couldn’t help the surprised noise that escaped her as Hikari all but dragged her back to the training room. She looked around the room in trepidation. It appeared as if Awaki and Raito were getting along. It’s good for the team if they like each other.
 
When Hikari nudged her and announced that she was ready to show her powers, she blushed, turning a brilliant bright shade of red and stuttered. No, no, why did no one understand that she absolutely hated to be the center of attention? That was better left off to Aunt Minako or her mother.
 
Reluctantly she entered the training area when Artemis called her name. Just concentrate on bringing out your powers, yah, right, like that’s going to work.
 
Looking at the youma wearily, Atsuiko wasn’t convinced she could do this. Deciding she needed to give it one good shot, lest her mother be embarrassed for the rest of her life, she turned her attention inwards, similar to when she was meditating. Alright, I can do this. Mom’s first attack was fire soul, which is just a fireball. She brought her fingers together in familiar fashion she had seen her mother do so many times before. The youma in her sight, she urged her powers to jump forward, to engulf her enemy in flames.
 
Nothing happened.
 
Maybe she needed to say the words?
 
“Fire Soul,” she said quietly.
 
The robotic youma stood in front of her, its glowing eyes mocking her.
 

Why wasn’t this working? Maybe Hikari was wrong and she really wasn’t meant to be a Senshi…