| Can someone review my Cover Letter, (ASAP?) pretty please? :3 | |
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Yumi Senior Member Saturn Emeritus
Title : (∩`-´)⊃━☆゚.*・。magical weirdo, Original Saturn Posts : 9410 Join date : 2011-08-19 Age : 33 Location : Scranton, Pa
| Subject: Can someone review my Cover Letter, (ASAP?) pretty please? :3 29th January 2014, 6:52 pm | |
| Here is the deal, I suck when it comes to cover letters. I am applying for an IT Systems Analyst position at a community medical college. Any feedback is greatly appreciated. - Cover Letter:
Re: It Systems Analyst Position
To whom it may concern,
My name is Marissa ______ and I am a former student of the University of Scranton. I have a bachelor’s degree in Information Systems and I am greatly interested in the current opening for IT Systems Analyst.
While at the University of Scranton, I took several computer courses that fell in the realm of programming, web development, and systems development. During the summer of 2012 I did am internship under the network manager at Diversified Information Technologies. The internship allowed me to witness the field of computer technology first hand in the work place. For my senior programming course at The University of Scranton, I created an easy to use office tool which allows the user to create invoices and manage clientele.
In the end I ask that you consider me for this position. It would make me very happy to be able to be hired in a field that I majored in. I am open to learn anything new that the IT Systems Analyst position might require from me through training and self-teaching.
Thank you for your time and consideration,
Marissa ___
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Chmia Lotus Crystal
Title : Leg Lamp Power, Make Up! Posts : 8262 Join date : 2011-10-01 Age : 35 Location : San Antonio, Texas
| Subject: Re: Can someone review my Cover Letter, (ASAP?) pretty please? :3 29th January 2014, 7:01 pm | |
| I have a few tips for cover letter writing. The cover letter is the perfect opportunity for you to demonstrate your knowledge of the company you are applying for. You need to show in your cover letter that you have researched the company and the position. (Include a relevant fact or incorporate the mission statement of the company into a positive sentence.) Example - Spoiler:
The Office of Historic Preservation and our city archeologist do valuable work protecting and managing our city’s heritage while educating the general public about our city’s history and what they can do to preserve it. Also, focus on what you can do for the company, rather than what the company can do for you. Show how you can be an asset for the company. This is not simply parroting what you have accomplished, because your resume does that already. Pay specific attention to the job requirements and include those in there as descriptions of you. I bet you can highlight your senior project and accomplish this at the same time. Example - Spoiler:
My varied background would complement the mission and vision of the Office of Historic Preservation. I have excellent written and oral communication skills as shown by my successful management of research projects, written and published reports, presentations at professional conferences, and my involvement with the community through volunteer work.
Here is a cover letter tutorial. http://www.gcflearnfree.org/coverletters |
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Yumi Senior Member Saturn Emeritus
Title : (∩`-´)⊃━☆゚.*・。magical weirdo, Original Saturn Posts : 9410 Join date : 2011-08-19 Age : 33 Location : Scranton, Pa
| Subject: Re: Can someone review my Cover Letter, (ASAP?) pretty please? :3 29th January 2014, 7:08 pm | |
| I had a feeling you would reply, and I am glad that you did. Thank you so much. |
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Chmia Lotus Crystal
Title : Leg Lamp Power, Make Up! Posts : 8262 Join date : 2011-10-01 Age : 35 Location : San Antonio, Texas
| Subject: Re: Can someone review my Cover Letter, (ASAP?) pretty please? :3 29th January 2014, 7:11 pm | |
| Lol, you know me too well. Although they are usually only a page, cover letters take a deceptively long amount of time to craft well. The more practice and time, the merrier! |
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Yumi Senior Member Saturn Emeritus
Title : (∩`-´)⊃━☆゚.*・。magical weirdo, Original Saturn Posts : 9410 Join date : 2011-08-19 Age : 33 Location : Scranton, Pa
| Subject: Re: Can someone review my Cover Letter, (ASAP?) pretty please? :3 29th January 2014, 7:13 pm | |
| So, a good opener would be something like...
"The Common Wealth Medical College has provided the northeast and central areas of Pennsylvania with......" |
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Brit-chan Senior Member Small Lady Emeritus
Title : Queen of the Cat Kingdom Posts : 23236 Join date : 2011-06-23 Age : 36 Location : Lafayette, LA
| Subject: Re: Can someone review my Cover Letter, (ASAP?) pretty please? :3 29th January 2014, 8:58 pm | |
| Can I also recommend you refer to yourself as an alumni and not former student? Former student makes ti sound like you attended but didn't graduate. ^^ |
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Yumi Senior Member Saturn Emeritus
Title : (∩`-´)⊃━☆゚.*・。magical weirdo, Original Saturn Posts : 9410 Join date : 2011-08-19 Age : 33 Location : Scranton, Pa
| Subject: Re: Can someone review my Cover Letter, (ASAP?) pretty please? :3 29th January 2014, 9:01 pm | |
| I reworked it and my cousin who is an English major, and someone I know who is going to be attending the medical school helped me out a bit too. So it is all good and dandy now... but THAT IS A REALLY GREAT POINT BRITT! Thanks! |
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Brit-chan Senior Member Small Lady Emeritus
Title : Queen of the Cat Kingdom Posts : 23236 Join date : 2011-06-23 Age : 36 Location : Lafayette, LA
| Subject: Re: Can someone review my Cover Letter, (ASAP?) pretty please? :3 29th January 2014, 10:19 pm | |
| Yay! Good luck! |
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| Subject: Re: Can someone review my Cover Letter, (ASAP?) pretty please? :3 | |
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| Can someone review my Cover Letter, (ASAP?) pretty please? :3 | |
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