For our first writing exercises, I'd like to start simple!

1. Show a moment of real fear for Rei. She isn't someone who's easily scared by nature, so what could possibly really, truly scare her? Make sure to describe her emotions, thought process, and all that.

2. Show a moment of real happiness for Rei. Not something like getting a good grade or successfully completing a task, but one of significant joy. Why is she this happy?

3. Show a moment of grief for Rei. Grief that is on par with losing her mother. How does she react? Does she hide it, pull away from the others, outright deny it, deal with it in private? How does she channel this grief?

Feel free to do them in separate posts or all at once. You can also post one and keep editing it until you've got all three of them done, but don't forget to let me know in that case. I'll post my critique once all three are done!

3. Show a moment of grief for Rei. Grief that is on par with losing her mother. How does she react? Does she hide it, pull away from the others, outright deny it, deal with it in private? How does she channel this grief?

Rei had been away studying at a remote location. She wanted to improve her abilities in sensing the spirits, but she also wanted to improve her ancient writing skills. She felt that going to a secluded spot in Japan would be just the remedy she would need to strengthen her inner priestess.
Her days as Sailor Mars had slowed down, so she figured she could take this break and live a normal life for once. Every once in awhile Rei would check her voicemail, she usually took her phone when she ventured to the nearby local market. Rei was searching for some new tokens to use when she meditated on the flames. 

Rei had just pressed the button to listen to her newest voicemail. Nothing could prepare her for what she heard on the other end. Rei stopped dead in her tracks as she heard Minako in tears on the other end.
Rei, I do not know how to tell you this, but something happened, a new enemy or something. I am not sure exactly what happened. Ami is trying to figure it out now. Rei you need to come back. Usagi is….she’s gone.

Rei felt as if her heart had been ripped from her chest, she knew what Minako meant by “gone.” How could this happen, why wasn’t Rei there to protect Usagi.  Rei looked around and noticed people were staring at her. She put the items down and slowly turned to leave the merchant. 

Her mind went through a whirlwind of events as she found her feet carrying her to the nearest train station. She had called Minako to let her know she was on her way. Rei first felt guilt, guilt that she had been selfish and was thinking of herself. She felt guilt for being so far away and unable to protect Usagi, she had failed the princess. Then came anger, anger at a new enemy coming and wrecking the peace. Usagi deserved her happiness and now she would never get it. And what about Mamoru? How was he handling this? Rei knew he was probably a wreck. 

Rei did her best to keep her face solemn. She had to be strong right now. A couple people on the train asked if she was alright. Rei smiled and said, “Yes, I am fine, thank you for asking.” She didn’t want to worry anyone, especially a stranger with her problems. 

Rei soon arrived at the train station. She walked to her shrine, where the girls would be waiting for her. While walking up the steps, Rei allowed herself to grieve for a moment. Tears silently fell from her eyes as she climbed each step. When she neared the top she pulled out her handkerchief and wiped her face. Now was not the time for tears, now was the time to work with her senshi to figure out who did yo Usagi and to make them pay.

(I may add to this later, but for now this is it for this one)

2. Show a moment of real happiness for Rei. Not something like getting a good grade or successfully completing a task, but one of significant joy. Why is she this happy?

It was summer so Rei decided to go through things in her room. She wanted to get rid of things she no longer needed and overall purge her room since she had more free time than normal. Rei pulled down a box that had collected a thick layer of dust. She took off the lid and found a plush crow, a photo frame and some other memorabilia. She wiped off the photo and saw a younger version of herself smiling from ear to ear. Her arms wrapped around her mother and father in front of a booth at a local festival. Rei saw herself holding the same plush that was now in the box she was rummaging through.

She sat down on the floor and held the frame, remembering the day at the festival like it happened yesterday.
It was many years ago, before her mother died and her father decided to expand his political career. They were all dressed in their traditional kimono. Rei had wanted to go see the magic girls. She wanted to see the girls who could predict the future. She hoped there would be fire jugglers too, or maybe someone who was skilled with fire. Rei had begun learning to meditate on the flames with hetr mother, but she just didn’t have the patience her mother did.

At the festival Rei ate her favorite dish, fugu with her parents. She remembered running off to the goldfish booth. 
She practically begged her dad to get her a fish, but he refused to play the game. Rei was upset, but her anger quickly when her dad took her to play a different, more complex game. Rei watched as her father played the game effortlessly. She was blown away by her dads skils and thought he was the coolest dad in the whole festival.
After the game was over Rei’s father handed her a plush crow that he had won. Most had picked on Rei for her fascination with crows, but her parents supported what Rei  liked. Rei held on to her plush crow with pride.
The Hino family proceeded to enjoy other traditional elements of the festival, most of which Rei had forgotten, but she remembered the happiness she felt, that they all felt when they were at the festival together. Everything had been perfect then.


Rei placed the lid back on her box and placed it back in her closet. She wiped her frame off and placed it on her dresser. She wiped the crow off the best she could and placed it next to the frame. She stood for a moment smiling at the frame, even though things had gone so bad after that day, Rei could still remember the happiness that she felt, that they all felt the day of the festival.

1. Show a moment of real fear for Rei. She isn't someone who's easily scared by nature, so what could possibly really, truly scare her? Make sure to describe her emotions, thought process, and all that.

Rei’s mother woke her up early. It was going to be a fun filled girls day for Rei and her mother. Rei’s mother helped Rei get dressed into her skirt and shirt. Rei put her socks on and slid into her house shoes. The two walked down to the kitchen and had breakfast. Rei was surprised to see shaped pancakes on a plate waiting for her.

After breakfast, Rei and her mama were off to the train station, to catch a ride to the park.  It was a busy day and there were many people there when Rei and her mother arrived at the park. Rei’s mother told her to stay close, where she could be seen. The two played for a bit on the playground, but then her mother needed to rest and went to go sit down.

Rei had been busy playing away, she was on the playground, in the trees, pretty much all over the place. Time had passed and Rei grew hungry. She thought maybe she and her mother could grab lunch at a hot cart. Rei began to search for her mother, she went to the bench where she thought she last saw her, but Rei’s mother was not there.

Rei thought, Maybe she moved somewhere else. Rei began to walk around the park in search for her mother, but couldn’t find her. She began to run, her feet stomping the ground with each step. Rei was worried her mother left, or worse, someone hurt her mother. She had begun to think thoughts such as;  I should have listened to mama, where did she go, did someone hurt her, what if she left because I didn’t listen to her?


Rei found a play structure to hide in. She began to cry. She rarely got to spend time with her mother because she was getting more and more sick, but today was a good day and she was supposed to spend the whole day with her mother and now, she had no idea where her mother was or if she would see her again.

She wasn’t sure how long she had been crying, before she heard a familiar voice. “there you are sweetheart, you had mama worried sick.”

Rei looked and saw her mother. She got up quickly and stumbled into her mother’s arms, wrapping her mama in a hug as she cried on her mother’s shoulder.

“Mama, I’m sorry, I didn’t listen. I thought you were gone forever.”

Rei’s mother held her in a tight embrace. “It’s alright Rei, I am just glad you are okay. What do you say we go get some lunch and then maybe we can go to a show later, what do you say?”


Rei smiled as she nodded her head as she said, “that sounds perfect.”

I am done.

Grief - I think you nailed the emotions really well. Rei does put a wall up when she's vulnerable and she will not show it to anyone, especially not strangers. Anger would definitely be present as well - I think you could have kicked it up a notch, though, especially because it's the one emotion that usually drives her. And the guilt is spot on, too. I would have expected her to perhaps ask a little bit more about what happened. Usagi dying when she's not there... it's hard enough to see with her own eyes but when she completely missed it, I think she would have at least demanded to speak to figure out exactly what happened. I feel there could have been more urgency to get home - more running, less walking, etc.

Overall Verdict: You're on point with the emotions, you just need to dig a bit deeper and make it even more engaging and come across as more powerful. Perhaps include how it's affecting her physically, and some memories about Usagi or even that it doesn't quite feel real yet.

Happiness - I really like this memory, it's really sweet. I think rather than posing it as a flashback, you could have taken us to that day itself. Have the entire story take place in the past, so we're really in that moment and really feeling the emotions as something fresh rather than just distant memories. I think that would have made the piece much stronger. It's really nice to see Rei as an innocent child when things were happy before she got all that anger and bitterness. Perhaps if you wanted to make it a flashback, you could also refer to how it's a bittersweet memory since she no longer feels the same way toward her father. Create a juxtaposition of her feelings between now and then.

Fear - Ohhh, I really like this one, and how it foreshadows her losing her mother for real later. I think you picked a really good moment for this. It's even more fitting because Rei has psychic abilities, so you can even say she predicted what would happen and this was really sort of like a premonition of what's to come. It's interesting that even then she was already so scared of losing her mother. I think this has to be my favorite piece yet!

Overall I think you definitely understand the character of Rei very well, and you're definitely ready to play her if you want to start our RP.

There is much room for improvement to make your writing stronger and evoke more emotion, but we can learn that along the way!