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Zaithat
Pyramidal Crystal

Zaithat

Pyramidal Crystal

Posts : 299
Join date : 2011-09-11
Age : 38
Location : Lexington, KY


Pretty Crystal Guardians Empty
PostSubject: Pretty Crystal Guardians   Pretty Crystal Guardians I_icon_minitime11th September 2011, 8:03 pm

Alright, so, I'm in the middle of reading everyone's stories, but you guys have made me brave enough to post part of what I'm working on. I hope you guys like it! And, feel free to give your critique. I'm looking for ways to make this better!

Some warnings first!
This is an AU! Please excuse any OC-ness, though I am trying to remain close to character.
There is no Mamoru. Not because I don't like him, I do, but this just makes my plans more interesting.
There will be fem-slash, though this is Sailor Moon, that should be expected, right?
This is not edited, nor do I really have a chapter format to this. The flow will be worked on when I edit.
Oh, and this doesn't follow a specific section of canon. I have kind of merged the anime, manga, and PGSM together.

Pretty Crystal Guardians

As the Dark Kingdom began to stir, the Maboroshi no Ginzhuishou, or the Silver Crystal, flickered from its hiding place. Softly a call went out across the world to awaken those who would protect it. The wheels of fate were beginning to move. For a brief moment, the crescent moon shone for the first time in over a thousand years.

~*~*~

“Usagi! You’re going to be late!” Ikuko yelled at her daughter from down the stairs. She only rolled her eyes a little bit at the muffled thud and scream she heard come from above her head. Confident that at least Usagi was moving, she went back to the table to continue watching the news.

The reporter was reporting another odd location of damage and fainting spells with no probable cause. “Third time this month. Authorities are still working to find a possible cause. Right now they are working to exclude the work of terro-“

“Moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom!” Usagi shouted as she ran through the room, grabbing a piece of toast and her lunch box before she ran out the door.

The blond was running as quickly as she could, her pony tail trailing behind her. She nearly tripped over the kneeling boy when she turned a corner. Carefully she picked herself off the ground before stopping to stare at the young boys.

“What are you doing to that cat!” She yelled, her voice nearly a screech. “Leave it alone!” The boys, caught in their game, all scrambled away from her. “Hello little kitty,” said the blond in a much softer tone, “are you okay?”

She tried to help calm the cat down, but her efforts were rewarded by a quick scratch on her hand. Yelping a bit her hand was pulled away quickly so she could suck on the wound. “Okay, I see how it is. I won’t help you then.”

The bell chimed, reminding her of the deadline she was about to miss. A small squeak escaped before she ran away , never noticing the band aid on the cat’s forehead.

~*~*~

That afternoon Usagi walked home alone and dejected. Naru had to help her mother with the massive jewelry sale, and she had no money to spend. Plus, once her mother found out about this test, she was a goner. Sure enough, the moment her mother saw the glaring “30” on the paper, she was forced up to her room to study. Her mom had even managed to take away all of her comic books!

After a few hours of studying, her head began to pound. It seemed like a great amount of pressure was building in her head. All she needed was for her head to just split open and she would find relieve. So great was her headache that she never really realized her eyes closing.

~*~*~

“Uranus, make sure the youma doesn’t get away!” Neptune screamed while she jumped over the youma that was charging her. She didn’t even cringe when she heard the glass shatter behind her.

“I’m working on it.” Uranus called back, ramming her shoulder into the youma to knock it off course. Both of them managed to hit the wall, which cracked from the weight and force of the blow. Staggering a bit, the blue skirted senshi got to her feet first, arm already in the air for her attack. “World Shaking!”

The yellow attack zoomed across the floor to destroy another display case, but the youma managed to jump away from the attack. Cursing Uranus ran across the small shop to get closer. “They’re getting stronger!” She shouted over the noise of the crunching glass beneath their shoes.

“Or just smarter.” Neptune replied. She was pulling up her attack when the youma charged her. The teal haired scout took the blow, since she was trying to protect the store owner’s daughter, who was slumped in the corner of the shop.

On the ground there was a bit of scrambling while they tried to find their feet and attack at the same time. Neptune yelped when the long claws found her chest and scored a blow against her. Just when she was sure that there would be another set of long scratches on her torso, she found herself covered in dust but free of the previous weight.

Looking up, she noticed that the youma was gone. She hadn’t felt the rush of energy that would have been Uranus’s attack. A quick glance at Uranus told her that the masculine woman was not her rescuer. Instead, her eyes were being directed up to the balcony railing, where a shadowed, caped figure stood. A light flashed before the figure jumped away and vanished into the night.

~*~*~

“Usagi! What are you doing sleeping? You were supposed to be studying.” Ikuko yelled when she opened her daughter’s bedroom door and saw her sleeping on her books. “Your final tests are coming up.”

The mentioned blond jerked away, her blond hair spilling over her shoulders. “But studying is so boring.” She whined. “I can’t help but fall asleep on these books.”

“Well you had better do better on your tests, or you will never be allowed to high school. I will not be home schooling you.” Ikuko sighed and closed the door to her daughter’s room to let her study again.

Sighing, Usagi picked up her book and began to look through her book again. Her headache had been helped by the nap, but she still felt a bit of the lingering pains from it. The pain, though not as bad, still made it difficult for her to concentrate on her reading, so eventually she gave up and went to bed.

~*~*~

Walking around, it looks like everything had been made of crystal. The buildings were lovely and towered over here. She walked through the street, confused by the lack of cars and the cobbled road. This was nothing like she had seen or heard about at school. Not even her history book could explain this one. The people were odd too. There was an ethereal quality she could not place.

Suddenly, she was standing in front of a majestic woman, dressed in all white, with matching silvery white hair pulled up in two heart shaped buns at the top of her head. Before she could even begin to wonder how this was possible, the beautiful woman was speaking.

“Find me,” she said in a faint voice. “Save the Moon. Use the Crystal.”

Confused, she opened her mouth to try and argue with her. The words never left her throat before she was awake and panting.

~*~*~

Michiru stepped over to Haruka’s side so she could lean against the sitting girl’s shoulders. “Hey Haruka, did you have that dream again?” she asked softly. They needed to be careful in public like they were.

“I did.” Haruka replied. “I think our mission is clear. We will keep her safe from harm and defeat the enemy.”

“I wish there was a way to plan their steps before they act.” Michiru sighed but moved so she could sit next to her best friend. “I don’t want another night like yesterday.”

Haruka, sensing her friend’s worry, reached over to give her hand a squeeze. “We’ll just train more to get better. We won’t let them win. She’s too important to us.”

“What are you two- lesbians?” A boy said, pointing to their held hands.

“And if we were?” Haruka asked calmly. Her long legs were tucked under her while she slouched against the bench. From her position, no one could be clear of her height, and this boy was obviously someone not familiar with Tenoh. A few of the girls’ classmates began to whisper between each other about the interaction.

“Don’t you know that’s wrong?” The boy sneered.

Looking slightly amused, Haruka unfolded herself and stood up, easily closing the distance between them, and loomed over the boy who was two inches shorter than her. “Don’t you know that you should keep your opinion to yourself?” she asked seriously.

“What- What are you going to do, hit me?” The brat sneered, though his face could not hide the fear he was feeling.

“No, I don’t think that would be necessary. After all, I wouldn’t want to break a nail or anything. I will say this, you might want to think before you speak. I know I’m not the only one who might have a problem with such. . . bigotry running rampant from your mouth.” She replied before going back to her seat calmly.

“You- you can’t just threaten me!” The boy replied.

“I believe that she didn’t threaten you. And I think, when asked, everyone else around here will say the same thing.” A broad teenager replied from behind the bratty boy.

“You certainly knew how to handle him.” Michiru commented softly.

“They’re really just a bunch of wind. And I do know how to take care of the wind.” Haruka said with a smirk.

~*~*~

“Naru, you would not believe the series of cosmic amazingness just happened today!” Usagi said happily while she flopped on the bench next to her friend.

“What is it Usagi?” Naru asked, a small smile, though not as large as it used to be, crossed her face.

“I don’t have detention today, I don’t have remedial tutoring, I’m not grounded, and I got my allowance today!” The blond said excitedly. “Do you know what that means? Arcade today!”

Naru’s smile dropped immediately. “I’m sorry Usagi, but I can’t. My mom needs help in the store today.”

“Is it still not fixed yet?” Usagi asked worriedly.

“No, mom said we’re still waiting on the insurance. Usagi, I don’t know what we’re going to do if we can’t get the store open again.”

“Oh Naru, I’m so sorry. Here, you should take my allowance.” The blond said, pulling out her wallet to start getting the money out.

“You can’t do that. That’s your money. You’re so sweet Usagi. You really would do anything for your friends.” The red head pushed the money back towards its owner. “You should go to the arcade anyways. This is probably the last time you can go for a while.”

“But Naru, it won’t be the same without you.”

“Then eat twice as much ice cream for me.” Naru replied. “You’re a good friend Usagi.”

“Oh Naru, you’re the better friend. Let me know if I can help out at the store any time.”

“Don’t worry Usagi, I might take you up on that offer this summer.”

~*~*~

Usagi smiled as she walked into the arcade/coffee shop/game store. She never asked why the store was the way it was, she just enjoyed the games they offered to play and their ice cream too much to even bother with those kinds of issues.

“Usagi, it’s been too long since I’ve seen you in here.” Motoki said from behind the counter at the coffee bar. “Did you fail another math test?”

“That’s not important.” Usagi replied. “I’m here to play Sailor V!” She even gave Sailor V’s famous victory pose to him.

“The machine is all yours.” Motoki replied while waving her over to the small cluster of arcade machines he had.

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen another Sailor V game like this.” She commented while inserting her quarter.

“Only one in the city.” A strange new voice said from above her. Jerking, Usagi looked up to see a dark ash blond smiling down at her. “Oh, jump, jump kitten!” The female told her. Almost automatically she went back to her game and continued playing. She could sense the strange person moving around her to stand behind her, sometimes giving pointers.

Once the game was over, Usagi quickly spun around in her chair to look at the person who was watching her. She blinked at seeing the tall high school girl staring down at her. “I- who are you?”

“Haruka. And you kitten?”

“I’m not a kitten! I’m- I’m Usagi.”

“Well, Usagi,” she put plenty of stress on her proper name, “you play well. Do you like playing any other games?” Haruka asked curiously, moving slowly around the light blond so she could lean against the machine again.

“Sailor V is my favorite.” The response seemed to cause something to flit across Haruka’s face before it was gone.

“Why don’t you try out one of the driving games with me?” The tall female asked curiously.

“I- well-“ Usagi started.

“Haruka, we need to go, now.” Another girl said from across the room. Usagi and Haruka looked over at the worried looking brunette who was standing next to the door.

“Later kitten,” Haruka said before jogging out of the room to join her friend.

For a moment, Usagi just stared at the door, wondering what had just happened. Then Motoki was calling her name, and the world just realigned again for her.

~*~*~

Haruka glanced over at Michiru while they were stopped at a red light. “So what’s the situation?” She asked.

“There’s a strong, strange energy building at a park nearby. I think we might have another youma about to attack.” The brunette replied. “What were you doing with that girl?”

“Jealous? And it wasn’t anything. Just talking to a cute girl.” Haruka replied. “Should we transform in an alley, or at the park?”

“I think it might be best to park in the alley, and run the rest of the way there.” Michiru said. “Best to be prepared for anything.”

The pair ran into the park, looking and listening for anything that might be amiss. They heard the sounds of fighting and quickly ran to the site. There, they found a dark haired senshi with a yellow and purple skirt fighting a youma. The youma took a swipe at the woman, who was knocked against a tree and fell to the ground.

Taking this as a sign, Uranus jumped to the fight. Her attack wasted little time on her lips before the yellow globe was colliding with the creature. Neptune, not wanting a repeat of the other night, let loose with her own attack. Fortunately, they both hit squarely, and the creature was no more.

The two Outer senshi looked at each other before turning to look at the strange new warrior they had with them. Could this be the person who had saved them in the jewelry store? Their eyes found, instead of the woman who had helped to weaken the youma, a black cat laying on the ground.

Carefully Uranus closed the gap between her and the cat. She knelt to the ground and picked the small form up. The cat gave a little groan but did not fight her actions.

“Do you really think that it’s the same. . .” Neptune asked curiously.

“I think we have little to explain otherwise.” Uranus answered. “Could she one of us?”

“Were we told that there would be more of us?”

“What about the dreams?”

“We can- we need-“ The cat moaned, her voice soft but audible. Both of the girls stopped talking and looked down at the cat, not really believing they had heard her speak. “Safe place.” The cat slowly lifted its head, blinking up at the pair. The two scouts were surprised to see the crescent moon on her forehead.

“Princess?” Neptune asked hopefully.

“No, but I can explain what I know.” The cat replied. “We need somewhere safe.”

“I know the place. We can go to my house. My parents are never home.” Uranus replied. “My car isn’t far from here.” She stood up with the cat in her arms, transforming back into her civilian clothing so she could walk through the park without fear. Looking over her shoulder, she noticed that Neptune had done the same.

~*~*~

Everyone was dressed in their finest clothing. The princess warriors were all dressed in their royal garbs, standing in a half circle on the terrace of the palace. The other courtiers stood behind the protectors of the princess and the realm, ready to watch the event taking place in front of them.

The pair looked like they could be sisters, instead of mother and daughter. There was little to give away the amount of age difference between them. Their silvery white hair gleamed in the soft light coming from the Earth, hanging in the sky above them. Soon it would be sunrise.

“My friends, we are here to celebrate my daughter, Serenity, turning eighteen.” The oldest of the pair replied. She held her staff high, using it as a symbol for quiet. “As is tradition, it is time for her to demonstrate her ability with the Silver Crystal and dedicate herself to the goddess Selene.”

The crowd cheered while Serenity watched them quietly. The princesses around her said nothing. Even the princesses from Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto were there to witness the momentous occasion. Their appearance had, at first, unsettled the court. Still, they all knew this was for Serenity and their continued survival as an Alliance.

Serenity smiled when her mother stepped in front of her. Selenity reached forward to gently stroke her daughter’s cheek before running her hand over her hair lightly. The crowd could see their lips moving, but the words never made it to them. Soon enough, the Queen handed over her scepter, with the Silver Crystal balanced perfectly at the top, over to
Serenity.

With only a small pause for her nerves, Serenity soon took a step forward, holding the scepter proudly above her head. “I pledge my heart to the people of the Silver Millenium, and I give my soul to the goddess Selene. So mote it be!” A bright light flared from the crystal, nearly blinding everyone there.

But, for a few of the Princesses and the Queen, they saw the radiant white clad warrior in the light, and the shape of the staff change to something completely different. Even her hair had changed, the classic bun shape changing to hearts.

~*~*~

“So you’re saying that you were the Queen’s advisor?” Haruka asked while she watched the black cat move around her house. The house was empty except for the three of them, and even if someone was there the trio was on Haruka’s floor of the house.

“Yes, I was the Queen’s advisor during the Silver Millennium. I was supposed to be the Princess’s advisor when she took the throne.” Luna explained. She decided to sit on a large black pillow to rest her tired body.

“Then, who did we see fight this afternoon?” Michiru asked curiously.

Luna bowed her head. “That was me. I do not know how to fight, but I saw the youma, and I immediately knew what I needed to do.”

“Just like us.” Michiru added. “Do you know what might be going on here?”

“I’m sorry but my memories are hazy at best.” Luna said. “I do not know much more than you. I can sense a very strong dark force. I do know we are here to protect the Princess and help revive the Silver Millennium.”

“How will we know when we find the Princess?” Haruka asked.

Luna frowned a little bit. “I believe that by finding the Silver Crystal will help show us how to get to the Princess.”

“Are the youma after the same thing?” Michiru asked.

“I believe so. We will have to keep hunting to find out what exactly they want and who they are working for.” Luna replied. “You are the two that have been fighting against the youma?”

“Yes. You were the one who helped us the other night?”

“The other night? No, I did not know that I could transform until today. There is another soldier?”

“Someone came to help the other night, but we didn’t see who it was.” Haruka explained.

“Another soldier. That is good news. We just need to find her so we can work as a team.” Luna replied thoughtfully.

~*~*~

“Usagi! Get down here right now.” Ikuko yelled from the bottom of the stairs. Her face was furious, and she was holding a letter in her hand.

Usagi ran down the stairs before freezing when she saw her mother’s expression. “Mom. . .? What is it?” She asked slowly.

“How could you fail three subjects this year?” Her mother said in a calm voice. The voice always heralded disaster for her.

The blond gulped nervously. “Oh, well, I-“ she stopped when she noticed her mother’s face became a darker red.

“To make sure you can enter high school on time, your father and I are enrolling you into a special summer school.”

“Summer school! But- it’s summer!” Usagi replied.

Ikuko scowled. “Usagi. . . this is not a discussion. This is an order. You will be going to this school, you will study, and you will be going to high school in the fall.”

“But- but-“

“No buts. You start tomorrow.”

~*~*~

Usagi in the back of the classroom, sulking. She laughed at the comic book she was reading. The room was small, only seating about six people. Her desk was already piled with several books she would have to read this summer.

Summer school.

The words made her shiver. She had never been sent to summer school, and it wasn’t like her grades had fallen that low. Her parents were overreacting. As usual. They had even made sure to drive her to this new school, just so they knew she would be on time. Now she was stuck in this classroom all day.

The classroom was filling up slowly as Usagi watched the clock morosely. Even now the second hand seemed to drag. She was staring at it so closely she did not notice someone coming up to her until the girl blocked her view. Blinking a few times, she looked up at the distraction.

The person in front of her looked young, just young enough to be entering middle school. She had short, dark hair that fell neatly over her ears. She had dark blue eyes, nearly a black color. “Hello.” She said in a soft, nervous voice.

“Oh, hi!” Usagi said happily. Maybe this could be her new distraction in class. “I’m Usagi.”

“Ami,” the quiet girl in front of her said. “I thought I would be alone for these classes.”

“Nope, I failed my math class too.”

“Failed? I thought you were trying to skip a grade. I’m sorry, that was rude.” Ami said, quickly putting a hand to her mouth like she believed it would take back her words.

Usagi, however, heard the words. She stared at Ami for a while, before glaring at her a bit, before just laughing loudly. “Me,” she took a gasp of air around her laughing, “skip a grade” another gasp, “you don’t know me very well.”

“I am beginning to learn.” Ami replied softly. “Do you mind if I sit in front of you?” Usagi gave a little shrug and before she could speak, the teacher came into their classroom.

~*~*~

Luna stood in front of the office the tutoring service resided. “There has
been a lot of strange actions here. I believe the Dark Kingdom might have a hand in this.”

“A tutoring service?” Haruka asked curiously. “What would they get here?”

“That does not matter. We need to find out so we can stop them.” Luna replied. She went into the nearby alley, clearly expecting the other two to follow her. “Luna Power, Make Up!” she cried when they were alone and the street was blocked.

The two human senshi watched in fascination as the transformation allowed the cat to change into a pretty human teen. Her amber cat eyes changed to a royal blue color, that nearly matched the skirt of Sailor Uranus. “Well, aren’t you going to change too?” Sailor Luna asked from where she was standing on two legs.

Michiru and Haruka looked at each other and nodded. They shouted their transformation calls and quickly changed into their new forms.

“Excellent. Come on, when I was surveying the building, I found a back entrance we can use.” Luna said before sprinting down the alley to the back parking lot where the teachers and staff parked.

~*~*~

“Usagi, did you do your homework?” Ami asked during their break. She turned around to see the blond sleeping on her desk. She took her pencil and gave the sleeping girl’s arm a sharp poke. “Usagi! Wake up.”

The sleeper quickly woke up with a little snort and jerk. “What happened?” she asked while looking around the classroom. She knocked her book, partially damp from drool, onto the floor. The noise caused the entire class to spin to look at her.

“Miss Tsukino.” The teacher, a tall, intimidating woman, came upon Usagi to bear down on her. “Are you sleeping during class again?” She asked with a frown.

“I- I wasn’t sleeping.” Usagi said, trying to covertly wipe off her chin.

“No lying! What have I told you about lying to me? To the computer room. I want you to do these exercises.” The teacher managed to pull out a pad of paper from seemingly nowhere along with a pen to scribble down a long list of exercises. “Until you can learn to behave in the classroom, you will be forced to work alone.”

Usagi took the slip of paper while chewing on the inside of her lip. She started to gather her purse, before she was told that she would not need anything in the computer room. Sighing, she trudged her way into the cold, lonely room.

She hated working in this room. She felt that every time she was in here, her head began to hurt. Personally, she blamed the computer program, since she had no trouble using her laptop at home. Today though, today’s headache seemed much worse. Her time completing answers began to slow before they stopped entirely.

~*~*~

Luna looked around the tutoring service, looking into the room before ducking down again. She had the ability to move in her tall boots silently, not making the bell on her bow jingle. The two other soldiers sensed that this was probably due to her feline form. They stayed at the back of the building to watch for a signal to proceed.

The teacher was smiling as all of her students worked on their laptops. Luna nearly shouted when she felt the dark energy fill the room. Inside was another strong energy she could not identify, which she took as
another enemy. Quickly she waved the others to her side. The dark haired scout looked up into the small window again, hoping to watch more for the right moment of attack.

Ami looked around the room and noticed the other students were rapidly falling asleep. She looked up at the teacher, hoping she would do something to keep them awake. Instead the teacher came forward to stare at her. “Why aren’t you working?” she snapped, surprising the dark haired girl.

“I am working.” Ami replied softly. She could nearly see the teacher’s face elongate and change color entirely.

“No you aren’t! I would know if you are working.” The teacher reached forward and grabbed Ami’s hair, yanking her to her feet. In that moment, her shaped changed completely. The trapped girl screamed and tried to get out of the painful grip. “Give your energy to me!”

When the teacher grabbed Ami, the guardians knew they needed to act then. Luna opened the door and yelled. “Unhand her right now!” Uranus and Neptune came into the room too, standing behind Luna and readying their attacks.

At the threat the youma did not drop Ami. Instead, she shifted her hold so the young girl’s throat was being pressed against. Ami struggled between gasps of air. No matter how hard she struggled there was no escape for her. Her eyes slowly closed as her world started to fade.

The three warriors stared in horror, unable to think of anything to do. They were trying to shout at the youma to let the poor girl go, but their efforts were for naught. None of them could attack since their powers were too destructive to avoid an innocent. Uranus gave a growl and rushed the monster for a physical attack.

The attack was stopped by the sudden blue light that appeared from Ami’s forehead. The sign of Mercury shined brightly and distracted them all. A sudden cold wind rushed through the room, cold enough to force the monster to let the girl go.

Instead of falling to the ground, Ami floated there for a moment before her outfit melted away to be replaced by a light blue guardian outfit. Her hair changed to a deep blue color, and when her eyes opened, they were a dark blue color to match the gem now in her tiara. She hovered for a moment, the toes of her blue boots just barely touching the ground,
before fully awakening and touching the ground.

“Sailor Mercury!” Luna shouted, getting everyone’s attention. “You’ve awaken!”

“I have,” her voice seemed more mature than it had before she had transformed. Her entire self seemed older, as old as Luna, Uranus, and Neptune. “In the name of Mercury, I will punish you!” she shouted at the monster. She crossed her arms in front of her chest, gathered her energy, and threw them out while yelling her attack, “Bubble Spray!”

The entire room chilled and became foggy. Mercury moved quickly to the side of her allies, touching each of them on the shoulder. The moment her cool glove touched them, the fog seemed to lift. The monster, on the other hand, seemed just as dazed and confused.

That was the sign they needed. Uranus and Neptune raised their hands, and gave their attacks in unison. Their energy seemed to merge, the colors swirling together, before striking the dazed creature and destroying it.

The four stood there, staring at each other in mild shock, before the first groan came from the students. Mercury shook her head. “You need to get out of here,” she said. “The others cannot know you were here. I will- make an excuse for the scene.” She released her transformation, once again looking like a young teenager.

The three remaining soldiers took a moment before Uranus said, “Meet us at this address. We will discuss the situation there.” She quickly took a pen and scribbled a note for Ami. “Good luck. it is good to have you as a fellow guardian.” Then, she took the hands of Neptune and Luna and pulled them out of the building.
[left]
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NauticalNeptune
Pyramidal Crystal

NauticalNeptune

Pyramidal Crystal

Title : Goddess of the Sea
Posts : 218
Join date : 2011-08-01
Age : 32
Location : Texas


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PostSubject: Re: Pretty Crystal Guardians   Pretty Crystal Guardians I_icon_minitime12th September 2011, 9:32 am

This is an interesting concept. I liked how you did this Smile
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http://ednakrabappel.tumblr.com/
SeleneHime
Pyramidal Crystal

SeleneHime

Pyramidal Crystal

Title : Previously: Sailor Pluto
Posts : 2880
Join date : 2011-08-21
Age : 29
Location : Texas, USA


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PostSubject: Re: Pretty Crystal Guardians   Pretty Crystal Guardians I_icon_minitime12th September 2011, 9:41 am

As Nautical said, this is indeed an interesting concept. We know that Uranus and Neptune theoretically awakened before Usagi in anime canon, but evading Usagi's awakening does put a certain spin on things. The writing quality is good, and while some spots the characters seemed at tad OOC, it isn't enough to sweat over. Good job, Zait. ^^
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Zaithat
Pyramidal Crystal

Zaithat

Pyramidal Crystal

Posts : 299
Join date : 2011-09-11
Age : 38
Location : Lexington, KY


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PostSubject: Re: Pretty Crystal Guardians   Pretty Crystal Guardians I_icon_minitime12th September 2011, 6:06 pm

Aww, thanks guys! I'm glad you like it. I do have a list of all the changes I made, since there are a few. I'm not sure I want to do all five seasons. I think it depends on how this one goes (and if I finish) and then the response.

Let's see, changes that I made:
Sailor Moon does not awaken first
I changed the ages of everyone, so they can be in high school at the same time, while Ami is just skipping a bunch of grades
No Mamoru
They're in the United States - this was mostly because I do not want to offend the Japanese culture
Haruka and Michiru are best friends, though very close and not afraid to act like they're dating
There are more, but they're spoilers right now

I will admit, there is going to be one otaku senshi in this, but I rather like her. I might have to have her make an appearance soon. I'm just a bit stuck on where to go from here.
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Chmia
Lotus Crystal

Chmia

Lotus Crystal

Title : Leg Lamp Power, Make Up!
Posts : 8262
Join date : 2011-10-01
Age : 35
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PostSubject: Re: Pretty Crystal Guardians   Pretty Crystal Guardians I_icon_minitime11th October 2011, 7:36 am

I have to say, I was not expecting the fan fiction go in the direction that it is headed. It is nice to see some refreshing changes.

If you are stuck on where to go from here, might I suggest creating a detailed outline? This always helps me, because I can see where I am going and how I am going to get there. The more details I place in the outline, the easier it is to write the chapter, because it is already fleshed out before I even write the first sentence.
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PostSubject: Re: Pretty Crystal Guardians   Pretty Crystal Guardians I_icon_minitime

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